Our government also has ever-increasing debt that will never be paid off. How will it all end? Will we default or impose severe austerity or use inflation to get rid of the debt? If the interest rates go up in the near future, will the stock market and the housing bubble burst again? Some people say that the Federal Reserve Bank has ruined the free market and our entire economy is inherently a Ponzi system that is destined to collapse. I don’t understand these crazy things, but when you live in the greatest country, you can rest assured that intractable problems will somehow be solved. (Maybe you should buy gold or cryptocurrencies, who knows?)

As a nation, we are getting sicker every day. That’s a puzzle, indeed. I don’t know why 70% of us are now obese or overweight. It wasn’t like that at all thirty or forty years ago. Perhaps it’s because there is abundance of awesome food made from great technology such as GMO and WWII chemical weapons that were turned into pesticides. Regardless of the root cause, isn’t it wonderful that we have had numerous solutions for the weight problems? Stay away from fat … no, it’s the sugar … no, really, it’s the carb … or, just go the gym. Finally, we have settled on the greatest solution: accept yourself, you’re beautiful regardless of your weight. If you have the right attitude, facts don’t matter.

Chronic illnesses are through the roof over the last few decades. Autism, asthma, arthritis, allergies, cancer, diabetes, immune disorders, etc. all have skyrocketed in the recent decades. It’s a little strange that the greatest scientists can’t really figure out why. And nobody ever finds cures for these diseases. All we can do is control the symptoms, be on medications forever and trust science and medicine. If you live in the greatest country, how can you not believe that Big Pharma is working to make the world a better place?

If you’re worried about skyrocketing healthcare expenses, get a good job and don’t be like those 75 million Americans on Medicaid or those other tens of millions with no healthcare coverage at all. There’s no excuse in the greatest country.

When you’re rejoicing the glories of the greatest country, always take the time to thank our military-industrial complex. We have spent $20 trillion on military and wars since the end of Cold War in 1991. What a coincidence … that spending matches our national debt! Anyhow, we wouldn’t be the greatest country if we are not constantly eliminating monsters all over the world. Trust me, we only get rid of Hitlers. Go back and look at all the past media coverage … everyone was a Hitler. And they all had WMDs and were planning to take over the world. That’s why when we killed 500,000 Iraqi children, Madeleine Albright rightly pointed out it was worth it.

Sometimes we drop 25,000 bombs and missiles in one year on ultra-poor people in Sudan, Yemen, Somalia, etc. Thankfully, we never get to see the pictures of dead children — that would ruin the patriotic feeling. Spreading peace and freedom isn’t easy. Sometimes we arm and fund maniacal terrorists when they assist us in regime change operations (like in Afghanistan, Chechnya, Yugoslavia, Libya, Syria, etc.), but I am happy that we eventually kill those terrorists. A happy ending makes everything okay.