from The Babylon Bee:

U.S.—Everyone agrees it is a bleak and hopeless post-apocalyptic hellscape we are living in nowadays. Not from the Trump administration or anything, but because of all these Terminator sequels.

There’s a consensus that Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day were darn fine movies, but after that, humanity started to realize they were being destroyed by their own creation. When Rise of the Machines came out, some began to sound the alarm, though many enjoyed that one for some reason. But humanity realized we were doomed once they started spelling Genesys with a “y.”

And with Terminator: Dark Fate, humanity was finally spurred to action, realizing too late that the actual dark fate is that we are doomed for a bad Terminator sequel every few years.

Desperate rebels have been working in secret, though, for a solution: a robot programmed to go back in time and stop those responsible for these movies. Holed up in a secret base at an undisclosed location, these brave freedom fighters sent off humanity’s last hope through a time machine, desperately praying the ploy would work.

While the gambit seems to have erased all Terminator films after the second, unfortunately, it created a “time resonance cascade” scenario where we now live in a world with 17 Princess Bride sequels, each more terrible than the last.

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