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99 Reasons to Impeach (But Ukrainegate Ain't One)

2-2-2020 < Attack the System 36 595 words
 

By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit


Exile in Happy Valley


Urgh! Ma, do I have to write about impeachment again? Cant I just take the trash down to the curb instead? Yeah, that’s right, dearest motherfuckers, its another goddamn impeachment piece, because apparently the thing about purgatory is that it’s never fucking over. Just when you think you’re about get paroled to the sweet hereafter, John Bolton writes a fucking book and you get another century added to your sentence. By the time it’s through, you’re begging for hell, anything to cut the fucking boredom. Hell is supposed to come this Wednesday but if the anticlimax of the Muller Report didn’t end this circus, something nauseating tells me the Senate’s partisan acquittal won’t either. I usually enjoy writing. It gives me some sense of control over the downright hellish purgatory of day to day life in the prolapsed colon of a herniated empire. Its hard work but it’s usually pretty rewarding. This impeachment shit, though, its like fucking math homework. It doesn’t matter how necessary it is, it still feels fucking pointless.


Impeachment in general, like most of America’s over-cherished pseudo-democratic rituals, is bullshit. Any political decision not made directly through popular referendum is little more than a bureaucratic reach around at best, not to mention, a waste of any true radicals precious time. But this endless fucking farce seems even worse than the usual who-porked-who in the Oval Office charade, at least to me. Ukrainegate essentially amounts to one scumbag withholding weapons of mass destruction from a neo-Nazi rump state until they release some dirt on another fucking scumbag. Who fucking cares?! Its not like I have any secret affection for Donald Trump. In fact, if the process were a touch more democratic and a bit less partisan, I’d love nothing better than to see his philandering ginger ass tossed to the fucking curb. But lets impeach the motherfucker for something right, not Adam Schiff’s latest Russophobic Tom Clancy knock-off. I can probably think of at least 99 reasons to impeach Trump. Ukrainegate just ain’t one.


How about Iran, where Trump unilaterally violated a UN sanctioned peace deal and then proceeded to punish the nation for our aggression? Impeach Trump for the totally illegal and immoral extrajudicial assassination of the region’s most accomplished anti-terrorist, Qassem Soleimani, on a civilian tarmac without the consent of anybody. Or how about his blatant refusal to respect Iraq’s sovereignty by obnoxiously defying their parliaments insistence that we leave, holding a whole nation hostage and using it like a human shield in a Mexican stand-off with an Islamic Republic that has gone out of its way to appease generations of our nation’s downright irrational behavior?


Impeach Trump for America’s ongoing campaign of economic terrorism which we refer to as sanctions, starving children and denying cancer patients access to life-saving treatment, not just in Iran, but Russia, Venezuela, Sudan, Eritrea, Belarus, Burma, The Ivory Coast, Cuba, The Congo, Zimbabwe, The Balkans, and perhaps most heinously in North Korea, our president’s favorite peace summit photo-op, where millions have starved and will continue to starve while the Donald strings them along with heartfelt love letters. Impeach Trump for threatening to return Iraq to this same grade of enforced poverty unless they defy the will of their own people. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor democracy sounds like it should be impeachable to me.


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