from The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Democratic Party has adopted seven progressive virtues as an official part of its platform: envy, greed, pride, lust, outrage, sloth, and gluten-free gluttony.
The Democrats published the list of virtues on their website Tuesday and called on all party members to try to live up to them in their personal and public lives.
“Each of these seven virtues represents a character quality every Democrat should strive to possess,” said DNC chair Tom Perez. “We must be anchored in strong character if we are to stay true to our principles. These should act as guidelines for the kind of person every Democrat should want to become.”
The list was accompanied by a short description of each virtue and why it is important to the Democrats:
Democrats are working on a list of seven deadly sins, which is rumored to include chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility.
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