By Troy Southgate

When are all these Americanised Europeans going to realise that removing a few statues, changing the signs on the bathroom door, jailing neo-nazi fantastists for making jokes about immigrants, dragging a few disabled people up the side of Mount Everest or giving the Mayor of London a Muslim name is like applying lipstick to the Bride of Frankenstein? Daddy is more than happy to build you a new play-pen, with as many safe spaces as you want, but you’re not having any pocket money and that’s final. In fact millions of people living in places like Yemen and Palestine have already upset Daddy so much that they’re going straight to bed without any supper. As far as Daddy is concerned, you can listen to Bob Marley or write ‘BLM’ on the crèche wall as often as you wish but no lives matter to Him.