from The Babylon Bee:

U.S. — Despite ominous polling data showing former President Donald Trump holding leads in key battleground states, there are strong indications that President Joe Biden is still polling well among the important 3 A.M. mail-in ballot demographic.

Democratic strategists expressed confidence that this crucial voting block, which played an important role in his 2020 victory, is still firmly in President Biden’s corner, leading many insiders to believe that November’s presidential election will turn out differently than current battleground polls indicate.

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“We’ll be just fine,” said Biden campaign chief Julie Chavez Rodriguez. “Mr. Trump’s camp may be crowing about all the polls showing him having a lead, but we all know which votes are really the important ones. As long as Donald Trump struggles to win the 3 A.M. unverified mail-in votes, President Biden will still end up being the choice of the American people. Joe just knows how to win those middle-of-the-night votes.”

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